a troubled peace

I texted a friend this morning about my laundry and my grocery list and my longing for peace.  She responded with a phone call, and we wondered together about peace, and what that's supposed to look like in the thick of it, out from between the covers of the Bible, so to speak.

We knew all the Christian-ese.

Trusting in the Lord, regardless of our circumstances.
Finding peace in Christ, resting in his promises.
Leaning not on our own understanding, but acknowledging Him in all our ways.

And so on.

Not that these things aren't true.  They are, and we believe them!  It's just - how does that LOOK, lived out?  How DO you have peace when the children bicker and hurt each other's feelings, sometimes on purpose?!  When things are wearing out right and left, and not just clothing and appliances, but relationships, too?  When you turn to the Bible for renewed life, but it all feels stale and familiar and lifeless?

What is this peace like, that can come in the midst of the storm that is life?

          ...   ...   ...   ...   ...   ...

I always thought that peace is serenely trusting God without ceasing, brow unwrinkled, heart beating slow and even and certain, sound sleep a given.

But I'm wondering . . .

. . . what if peace is feeling the shallow breathing and the quickened heartbeat, and choosing to trust God's goodness through it?  Despite it.

What if it's seeing destruction and animosity in every direction and somehow hoping for a future held by God, anyway?  Even when you almost can't believe it could be good.


What if peace is not the complete absence of fear and anxious thoughts, but a way through them?

no title

It's after 10 pm and no time like bedtime for writing about why I haven't been writing (and then publishing without an edit).  Quick! before I decide (again) that I have nothing to say!!

I haven't written because I am in that season where words are inadequate.  They are pale next to the vividness of life, simplistic next to the complexity of relationships, absurdly compact next to the voluminous waves of my thought life.

I haven't written because so many other people are writing so well, that I cringe at the thought of littering the internet with my drivel.

I haven't written because I was disappointed that so few of you successfully made the transition from the "buretachi" blog to this one.  I changed it in the first place because I thought "buretachi" was so cumbersome and inexplicable.  Turns out change itself was more insurmountable than partially made-up Japanese nomenclature.  But still, I felt let down.

I haven't written because facebook has stolen all my time.  And Amazon's lovely "Look Inside!" feature, which has lured me into many a self-helpful book (from relationships to essential oils).

And essential oils.  I'm so sorry to be so {insert negative descriptive word that means "doing what everyone else is doing" - pedestrian??  bourgeois??} but there it is.  Essential oils are fascinating little buggers.  The income I have made over the years selling my pottery is fast disappearing into the pockets of those who sell these enticingly aromatic little bottles of essence.  I am reading everything I can get my hands on (literally, via the amazing public library system, and virtually, via the amazing internet!) and I. Do. Love. Learning!!

And I haven't written because I haven't had anything sufficiently profound to tell you.  Just, you know, doing laundry and confronting children about character issues (and then seeing just where they might have inherited the aforementioned character issue....) and cooking suppers and reading stories and checking math and grammar and penmanship and weeding the flowerbeds (sometimes, when I'm not sneezing) and wondering when Jesus will come back and take us all home where we so desperately long to be, whether we realize it or not at any given moment.

[I just love a good run-on sentence, don't you?]

So, that's why I haven't written.

But the thing is, my blog is where I see what my dear friends have been writing on their blogs, and I started missing them, and so I came here to check my list, and felt a little forlorn when I saw the date on my last post .... and so here I am, boringly imperfect and unprofound.

And getting sleepy.  My Farmer has actually preceded me up to bed, so I'd better sign off.  I put yardsale pillow shams {but what do you call them after you put the pillows into the shams....?!!} on our bed for the first time and I'm afraid he'll sleep on them.....

carry each other's burdens ...

[new bags added to bottom of post!!]

"Carry each other's burdens," Paul tells us, 

"and so fulfill the law of Christ." [Galatians 6:2]

Bags that carry your groceries (or other goodies) can buy meals for hungry children.  How?!  Read on:

It all started when I ran into an old friend in a thrift store.  She was carrying a most intriguing bag, and when I asked her about it, she said she had crocheted it from plastic grocery bags!  I came home and told my daughters about it, and light bulbs went on.

Before Christmas Sugar, Spice, and Nice had worked together with me to make hymnal angels to raise money for Feed My Starving Children.  We made and sold ten (!), enabling us to donate $250 to the fund.  Sugar, Spice, and Nice were properly impressed that they - mere children, so they had thought - could earn such a sum to give away.

What if we made bags, too?!

So we did.

First we used the grocery bags we had around the house.  Then we asked the Grandmas if they had any to contribute.  Then my brother's wife caught wind of the project and gave us her generous stash!

We sorted them by color and type, and began making "plarn" (a.k.a. "plastic yarn").  Here's how it works:

Flatten the bag.

Fold it lengthwise; snip off the handles.

Snip off the bottom, then cut the length into one-inch sections.

Pull the cut sections open into loops (Lil' Snip and Nice are pros at this!), and then loop the loops together to form the "plarn" - !  Just like that.

Getting ready a new stash of "plarn" to crochet more bags!

If that looks like it takes a lot of time ... you're right - it does!  But withe all five of us working together (when that happens they call it Plarn Factory), progress is encouragingly visible.  And watching the bags form is exciting.  

Here's what we've made (so far):

{this bag is now SOLD!}

{this bag is now SOLD!}

There you have it!  Sturdy upcycled totes to carry your groceries, books, beach towels and more. If you'd like more information, or to buy a bag, contact me by email {buretachi [at] gmail [dot] com} or drop me a line in the comments! {All donations go to Feed My Starving Children.}

a winter pick-me-up

Where I live, winter has settled in and made itself comfortable, and the sun - like the rest of us would like to - has decided to flee these desolate parts.  In the arctic dim that has to suffice for daytime, now, I feel restless and gloomy and wish I could check out for awhile.  Facebook and Jimmy Fallon can only distract for so long, and do nothing to permanently improve my mood.  The volumes of nonfiction from the library don't hold my attention, and even chocolate begins to seem boring (*gasp*).

Enter Cranberry Chia Seed Jam, a sprightly sweet-tart treat with a spark of citrus that will wake up your taste buds, and maybe the rest of you, too:

Remember those cranberries you bought when they were on sale around Christmas (or even Thanksgiving), and then froze because you didn't get around to making your own cranberry sauce?  

Their time has come at last.  

Grab a bag out of the freezer and dump them into a saucepan with about a cup of maple syrup (more if you like gloopier jam, less if you like a sturdier spread).  

Simmer on medium heat while you zest an orange (if you don't have a zester, use a vegetable peeler to pare away just the orange layer, and then chop it finely).  By the time you're done with that, the cranberries have probably softened and burst.  If not, you can speed up the process with a potato masher. 

When all the berries have submitted nicely to the heat, stir in one quarter cup of chia seeds and the orange zest.  (I have no idea why my orange zest looks yellow here - I promise I did not use lemon, although that might be good, too.  Hmmm .....)  

Spoon into a jar and chill.  The chia seeds will thicken the cranberry and  - viola!  

Jam!!

(yummy on ricotta cheese!)

Here's to more of the sunshine that finally blazed out for an hour or two today, after I cooked up this jam.  

(Coincidence?  Maybe.)

Cranberry Chia Seed Jam

12 oz bag of fresh or frozen cranberries (3 1/2 - 4 cups)

3/4 - 1 cup maple syrup

1/4 cup chia seeds

zest from one orange

Over medium heat, cook cranberries and maple syrup till all berries have burst, stirring occasionally (12-15 minutes).  Mash with potato masher if needed.  Stir in chia seeds and orange zest; mix well.  Remove from heat; cool a minute or two; spoon into glass jar and chill.  Jam thickens while cooling.  Keeps 8-10 days in refrigerator (if you don't eat it before then!).

.... that 90-day challenge

For any observant readers out there that have been wondering how my 90-day Bible-reading challenge has been going (and why they aren't seeing updates), here's how it's going:

s

     l

         o
 
               w

                         l

                                   y

                                                 . . . .


[which is a nice way of saying that I'm weeks behind schedule.]

I started out strong.  I really believed I would keep up.  "It's only a half an hour a day," I remember telling someone, that first week.

It was fun at first.  I gulped down Genesis, Exodus, even Leviticus.  Reveled in "seeing the big picture."  Then in Numbers I started hitting serious genealogies.

I don't do so well with genealogies.  I want to skip over them, but can't - it feels too much like cheating.  I have to sound out every name.  I resort to reading them aloud in order to stay on task.  I move a piece of paper down the page, to mark the line I'm on, to help me move along.

Nevertheless, I find my eyes glazing over, make myself go back and read again the lines I've inadvertently skimmed [or skipped].

So.

I'm still plugging along - and will continue to do so, until I finish.  I'm not excited anymore (although that could come back, once the genealogies are behind me for good - but that's books and books away ...!).  I try to fake it, at least when I'm talking to Sugar, who - of course - is still on schedule (as she has been ever since conception).

That's the update.  Anyone who's doing it, too, and fell behind - we can do this.

Remember the tortoise and the hare - ?